Jillian Maas Backman >> Intuitive Life Facilitator and Award Winning Radio Show Host

One of the greatest business inventions is the simple business card! 2 by 43.5 inch calling cards to help the entire world immediately identify who you are. Corporations spend thousands of dollars hiring marketing gurus to design eye- popping icons with strategic catchy slogans to ultimately capture your attention. Some add self-portraits or snappy colors just to mix it up. Others opt for simple black and white for a more subdued, sophisticated presentation. Whatever your preference, the goal is to be noticed and more importantly, remembered. I started writing this blog entry several weeks ago after someone struck up a conversation about my unique business card. My intentions, is to conclude with a rousing discussion on the inherit power of this simple business tool. However, I was diverted by something much more compelling than my initial intention…
Recently America watched as, Beth Holloway, the mother of missing child Natalie Holloway, flew to a Peruvian prison to meet with a man that is being held on other charges and who is suspected in the disappearance of her daughter several years ago. We all gasped at the thought that she would jump on a plane, fly to a foreign country just to confront this man behind prison bars. Even though this part of the story is what took us all by storm, I was drawn in by a more subtle part of the heroic adventure, the ending. It has been reported that she did get to meet face- to- face with the suspect. However, the entire event was abruptly concluded after only 5 minutes. The man behind bars handed the mother a BUSINESS CARD, with the name of his attorney on it. Visit over, matter concluded. With a flick of the wrist from one hand to another, this simple little piece of cardboard was singularly responsible for altering the destiny of both parties simultaneously. Although this is not the ending this courageous mother was hoping for, it did give the world other insights to ponder– this is what caught my attention. What can we learn from this elusive pointed maneuver? We should never forget the power of the card! In a world where personal relevance and individuality seems to be fading away, it is somewhat reassuring to know there is still a way to keep separate from the pack. This is the last paper thread left connecting us to the business frontier of days gone by. May we all take refuge in the fact this sacred paper trail may be able to survive the hostile takeover of contemporized technology.
We all want to believe we are important enough to have our business card held onto, above all others; that we are the “one” to remember! And rightly, so, we are leaving behind our modern day legacy, a trail, for others to emulate after we pass. None of us wants to believe someone would deliberately discard such an iconic representation of ourselves so harshly. Nevertheless, the cold reality, the majority of the time they do. This is what Beth Holloway was attempting to complete for her missing child, remembrance, a cherished legacy of her beautiful but short existence. Why is that so challenging others to see? That is what the mother went seeking clear across the other side of the planet. How ironic is it that the one thing left untouched altered her legacy by modern evolution, the business card?
In other cultures outside of America, the exchange of business cards is considered ceremonial. It is an ancient artful ritual between individuals who pass through each other’s lives in a simple moment in time. Seen as a natural extension of the person themselves and treated with the highest form of respect. The protocol includes presenting and accepting the business card with both hands. Eye- to- eye contact, and a personalized “thank you” to seal the deal. You can see from the introduction, I deliberately used my own personal business card. Not to sell anything to you, but to demonstrate symbolic communications. The icon on my card is an actual impression of my hand. I love to give and receive business cards, which is an immediate glimpse into the reflection of someone’s soul. I have created my own ritualistic style of exchange. I literally hold each one of my cards before I give it away, and then the receiver accepts a blessing of some kind. I know it may sound corny to some of you. Nevertheless, there is so much pain in the world today every little intent counts. So next time when you engage in an unconscious business card exchange, do me a favor pause, reflect, and trade with loving intent.

Two strangers exchange business cards that then become two acquaintances. Those two acquaintances lead to business associates, which then lead to friendships, leading therein to partnerships, partnerships lead to groups, those groups lead to communities, and ultimately , the world…………………..
We are all one business card away from knowing each other.
In gracious love, Jillian Maas Backman

I want to dedicate this entry to my good internal emotional friend, Fear. One of the most mis-understood emotions and yet, has the greatest potential to be our working warrior beside all of us in a time of need.
So much is written about this illusive emotional condition. Just the word alone conjures up a negative reaction and sends people into a tailspin. Why? Along the way, we have received implied mixed messages, finger pointing towards FEAR as the “evil one” from our emotional piggy bank from which to draw from. Origins deriving from such statements, as “We must conquer our fears!” “That fear is going to kill you!” “FEAR is the root to all evil!” This kind of verbiage sets up a battlefield inside your conscious mind. Think about it this way, whenever someone goes into battle there will always be a winner and loser. When we apply this same kind of tactical representation towards fear, it is no longer an ally. It becomes an adversary to suppress. Nothing good comes from this kind of thinking in your head. We end up segregating pieces of ourselves and assign judgment. A power struggle ensues between good and evil.

We have humiliated ourselves into thinking it is cowardly if we admit experiencing some form of fear. Somehow, we are less emotionally healthy if we have bouts of fearful momental breakdowns. What a set up that is, in so many sad sad ways. Fear is a human emotional conditions we should honor and respect on different levels. It is not meant to be a comfortable state of being, by any means what so ever.

NEVERTHELESS, it can be an immutable force behind your intentions!
Every human emotion was given to us for a higher purpose of some kind. I believe we are trying to think our way through changing the human archetype we were heavenly blessed with from inception. Impossible and a waste of human time. My ability to feel fear is necessary for my survival in certain situations. It is how you act upon those internal markings is a gift not a punishment.

Let us take the fear out of “being in fear.”
First, there is lots of wiggle room between using fear as a catalyst for expansion and creating a fear addiction. As always, I am addressing a healthy dose of “fearness” herein. This is not intended for those of you that feel you may have crossed into the danger zone of a “fear addiction.” As with all addictive behavior, intervention prevention by trained professional is always advised.

Please do not abandon your sense of fearing.
Fear, as with all other human emotions, will be present forever. It is our natural sense indicator of change in the rawest form possible, an involuntary boundary sensor. The minute you find yourself outside your comfort zone, that fear brain sensor will be busy transmitting all forms of warning signs. Why in the world would you want to intellectually spend time fighting against this loving emotional companion is beyond me. For goodness sake, walk with it.

Years ago, I too was immobilized with my own fears. My perceived options were either ignore the presence of it and force my way through or accept defeat and surrender. Both seem ludicrate at the time. Neither option was going to get me to my desired destination of transformation. I trusted myself enough to know that fear was not my enemy. I was being guided to delve deeper for illumination on the gift of heavenly fear. The answer was not about the elimination of it, more on how to manage my way through the consistency of fear. How do you deal with the innate presence of emotional fear?
Which one are you; Cliff Diver or a Rabbit Hopper:
Before I share the details, let me preface this by stating: No one category is better than the other. Each one has inherited advantages and disadvantages. I use these labels as a fun way of stepping out from the wake of fear, observing how you personally deal with conflict resolutions, and possible modifications.

Cliff Diver: Peaks of Fearlessness followed by Peaks of Fear
Now cliff divers are the ones that do exactly what the label sounds like. Not literally, of course. When they decide to make changes, they usually go big. Not in the sense of crazy big, more like something out of the ordinary. The opposite, they sit back, internally analyze, wait for the right moment to jump, and then jump long! All the while, vacillating between moments of fear-ness and fearless-ness. This reminds me of that old cartoon, Wily E Coyote and the Road Runner. The coyote would chase the roadrunner off the end of a cliff. His first reaction on his face described it all. “Oh crap, what did I just do?” Eyes wide as silver dollars, realizing his forthcoming quandary, flapped his arms as fast as he could in the attempt to soften the blow with his eventual landing. He always seemed to survive another day of relentless chasing the Roadrunner.
Advantage:
-Fear instantly subsides. There is immediate spontaneous resolve to the inaction of fear.
-Go with the flow kind of people, flexible
-More times than not, this decision defines completion.
- Meaning, you have completed a cycle in your life that has been festering for a long time and your inability for movement has stalled. Your last bit of built up fears pushed you forward to a decisive action and possibly propel you to new territory of exploration.
- Feel your way through fears. No intrinsic internal need to identify and label each fear individually.
-Able to handle both conscious and unconscious pretara of “perceived fears” simultaneously.
-Insights always come from a multitude life lessons.
Disadvantages:
-Be aware of compulsive fearless moments. It is an incredible motivator but may also create lingering repercussions.
-Be conscious that you are a cliff diver. The natural order of human fear will settle in again, but the configuration will definitely be different from before. You will eventually decide to jump off the cliff of fearlessness once again and the cycle will repeat. What measure have you set in place to reconfigure a new way of handling fears when it comes around again? A good solution would be to adapt the ways of a “rabbit hopper…” Therefore, when you decide to “jump” again the aftermath may have a softer landing.

Rabbit Hoppers: Equal amount of fear and fearlessness
Bless them, for many do not understand their unseemly unassuming ways. We are promoters of cliff divers in this country. “Go Big or Go Home.” Come on really? Not every big way is the best way. There are times when slow and steady is the best method to resolutions of all kinds. I again reference a childhood story, “The Tortoise and the Hare.” Even though the hare is portrayed in this parable as the one who lost in the end maybe both were correct.
Advantages:
-Break down fears into workable “chucks of insights.”
-Deal with fear as it comes along. They live by the rule, literally, one-step at a time. In this case, one hop at a time.
- Extremely methodical in handling all aspects of fear- based experiences. Goals firmly placed in front of them. Set in their immediate intentions.
-Can only deal with single fear issues one at a time. Multi-tasking lessons are not an option.
-Keep internal fear/fearlessness in balance.
Disadvantages:
-Assume fearlessness as being out of control.
-Tendency to avoid situations of complete fearlessness and spontaneous decision.
-Inflexible. Rarely deviate from the pre-set course of action.
- There will be times of urgency to make a fast decision. Fear is an incredible activator for quick movements. Many times rabbit hoppers avoid this kind of situations at all cost. That itself can create potential danger. You must adapt and take the “cliff diver” approach and jump in.
In order for rabbit hoppers to continue to move forward, they must always keep a balanced perspective on both fear and fearlessness. That is a tall order, for the demure rabbit. Fear has a tendency to silently take over the rabbit hoppers momentum.

I presented this fun fear quiz to demonstrate how each one of us handle and manage the stress of fear. Both represent the beautiful ways in which we assimilate our fears, transpose them into lessons, and share our well -traveled wisdom with others.
In gracious love, Jillian Maas Backman

Jillian Maas Backman is an Intuitive Life, Author (Beyond the Pews, spring 2011), and Award winning Radio Host. She can be heard on her weekly Sunday morning program entitled: “It’s For You” on-air 9-10am(CST) Lake 961 fm, Lake Geneva, WI, North Shore Chicago, Ill or by listening on-line world wide at www.lake961.com